On their front door today, Yahoo had an item about 30-somethings and dating. Of course I had to watch it. They stole the Bros Roundtable idea! Check it out.

The San Francisco Chronicle ran a funny little piece summarizing the dating advice from a few semi-recent books: The Rules, He’s Just Not That Into You, and some other ones I had never heard of. It makes me wonder, though, if anyone ever found their mate by thinking of it as a “sale.” That just seems so creepy. Maybe I should say “anyone in contemporary society.”

The Chron also ran this cheery little item about loneliness being bad for your health. Maybe I can get Blue Cross to pay me for blogging by convincing them this whole 100 Emails 20 Dates thing is preventive care.

It’s that time of year again. Time for all the news organizations and websites to start pumping out stories about relationships in the run-up to Valentine’s Day. Here are some highlights that I’ve come across recently (some are old stories, but new discoveries):

• Online dating — Helping pathetic women get their hopes crushed more efficiently (The Onion)
• The man date (NY Times). Why guys keep a seat between them at the movies and more.
• Women are harder to read on the first date (UPI). The small sample size and the researcher’s description of flirty-but-not-interested women as “deceptive” makes me distrust the results a bit.
• The dating go round (Science News). Lots of fascinating nuggets here: Uncertainty feeds attraction in the initial stages of relationships. Couples seek out emotional bonds at the earliest stages of relationships. Also, there’s a big discrepancy between what people think they want and what they pursue (no surprise there).
• It’s the economy, girlfriend (NYTimes). About a blog called Dating a Banker Anonymous. Um, any guy who consoles his colleague when your dad has just had a heart attack is a d-bag.

The other thing that keeps popping up is the He’s Just Not That Into You movie, which I am kind of excited about.

The Economist recently did a story about a British study that found that when men use deodorant, they feel more confident, and women (who couldn’t smell them) thought they were sexier. I find this amusing for two reasons:

1. It still doesn’t explain why guys who do use deodorant are still stinky sometimes. (I guess it’s the act of putting it on that makes them feel confident, not how successfully it masks their sweaty armpit smell.)
2. The article has the following endearingly square-yet-trying-to-be-hip subhed: “Born chicka wah, ker-ching chicka ching.” Is that the British version of “Bom chicka wah wah”?

And to answer your other question, yes, I do occasionally read the Economist. (Like maybe twice a year. That counts, right?)

Feel free to use this to encourage the men in your life to make more liberal use of the Mennen in the morning.

Hat tip to Mind Hacks, who also used a funny headline for their post.

At least on college campuses. This news story says that recent research shows that college students are hooking up, rather than dating. “I don’t know when the last time I went on a date was,” says one college guy.
My first reaction was, well, doy. People in college don’t date, unless they’re dating. You know, you have to eat, you want to see a movie, you can do it with either your friends or boyfriend/girlfriend. You might invite someone you’re interested in, but why bother, really, when you could see that person in class, at a party, or at the local hangout.

But what is a date? Is it really just, “I’m hungry, want to go get something to eat with me?” To me, a date implies intention. I want to spend time with this person, let’s do something together so that we can meet our primary goal of spending quality time together. Maybe that’s one reason why long-term relationships with a person you like so often fizzle: the intention, the desire to make spending time with that person feel special disappears, and all you’re left with is, “Hey, want me to pick up some King of Thai on my way home?”

V., a 30-year-old super-cute woman in my knitting group, was talking about her recent Match.com dates. “I’m really liking the meeting up for drinks dates,” she said. “And this might sound weird, but I haven’t paid for anything. The guy always pays.” That seems to speak to the intentionality of it, too. You’re making an investment (albeit only an $8 one), into the possibility that this will work out. And that’s all it really takes to make something feel special.

Related Stories:

• David Zinczenko on opening lines and the $8 drink as bribe.