After posting about the guy who seemed happy to keep our online conversation strictly online, I worked up the nerve to see if his schedule had opened up. He responded, asking me about some things I had mentioned in my last email. He also said that he’d be in touch on Wednesday to let me know when he was free.

Ball’s in his court, I thought. If he doesn’t email me, then fine, he’s clearly just not that into me. Wednesday night, I logged on to OKCupid — no email. So I checked out his profile, wondering if I was really that into him.

He was online.

Now, on Match or whatever, it doesn’t matter. You could completely stalk someone, and they wouldn’t really know. But OKCupid pops up a little note: “[username] just checked out your profile.” Caught in the act. I panicked, hastily closed the window as if that made a difference, and felt somewhat foolish.

The next day, I had an email from him. We made plans to meet for lunch, joked around a bit, and sent longer, more frequent emails to each other over the course of the next couple of days. At one point, he wrote, “You are a fantastic writer!” (He mentioned in his profile how words are important to him.)

We met for lunch, and it was immediately comfortable talking to him, though the conversation still had some of the first-meeting nervousness. He makes great eye contact. We dove right into a fascinating discussion on print and online media, ordered tacos, and talked some more. The conversation did peter out a bit, but my “I can only do an hour” lunch turned into about an hour and a half. I walked back with him to BART, and he gave me a nice hug goodbye, saying, “I had a great time. I’d love to come see your band sometime.”

That, friends, is the kiss of death. If he was interested in me, he probably would have said, “Let’s do this again,” or something. It’s sort of the musician’s equivalent of hearing, “I’ll call you” — an implied continuation of the relationship without any plan to actually follow through. Wanting to be one of 50 or so people in an audience when I’m onstage at a gig that is likely to be weeks away felt like a romantic brush-off. But who knows? He does like music.

I sent him an email before I headed out of town for Memorial Day weekend reiterating that I had a fun time. We’ve exchanged a few emails since, but I don’t really get the feeling that he’s that into me. He seems like a nice guy, though.

And for those who think I’m prejudiced against short guys, he’s 5′8″ and I would definitely meet up with him again. So there. :)