I’ve been chewing over what Kate, Sonia, and Kristin said about A., the anti-Jeff Tweedy, anti-anti-Starbucks-girl guy. They’re totally right. I should have given him a chance. (This is part of what this whole blog is about, really — exposing my stupid dating mistakes so I can learn from the sage advice of my friends and complete strangers!)

I face two main issues when I try to focus on dating:

1. I don’t have time to date. (In reality, I don’t make the time.)
2. I don’t know when boys like me. (For reals. I’m oblivious.)

With online dating, #2 is off the table. Either they write back or they don’t. So let’s focus on #1. I want to get married someday. I want the whole 2.5 kids, dog, house thing. I don’t need it right now or this year, but I want to feel like I’m heading in that direction. I want it way more than I want more people reading this blog or to become Internet famous through a goofy podcast I do with my bros or, quite frankly, to focus too much on my career. So I can deprioritize all that.

But I generally only have about one night a week to myself. So what else is taking up my time?

• Band practice/gigs. Non-negotiable. Any dude I’m with is going to have to deal with this.
• Freelance work. Am currently trying to save up for a new computer, so once I get enough money tucked away, I’ll stop freelancing.
• Time with friends. Again, non-negotiable. See #1.

My friend R., who is also single, and I had a good discussion about this very topic tonight. “I need to get out of my comfort zone,” she said. Her friends are more coupled and tight-knit than mine. They’re great people, super fun, and exactly the type of friends you’d want to spend every weekend night with. But that’s not going to help her meet someone.

I, too, need to step out of my comfort zone. I need to clear my calendar (a bit — see non-negotiables above). But then… what? My friends are either coupled or bros. So does that just leave me Match and OKCupid?

The “what then?” question plagues me.

P.S. It was too late to email A., but I did email a few other guys on Match and OKCupid tonight. I’m trying to keep a more open mind. And once again, I’m going to bed two hours later than I want to.