P. had been telling me she was going to fix me up with B., an ex-boyfriend of hers from college, for ages. Part of the reason she thought we’d be a good match is that we’re her two friends who don’t smoke pot. She invited him to one of our shows, and gave him my email the next day.

Tuesday, August 26
Subject: [something totally unrelated to the conversation]

I think you guys would have fun together. You’re both really funny. And very honest and true to yourselves, more than anything. You have similar values, I think. One of which I would characterize as fun-loving, but clean-living.

He emailed me not long after.

Tuesday, August 26
Subject: Good seeing you again

Nicole -
I got your email address from P. and she said she would check with you to make sure it was okay…(hopefully she did that)!  I missed her spilling the full beer on stage just before your second set.  Bummer, cause that would have been a fun thing to grill her about for a long time to come!

I wanted to see if you’d be up for grabbing a drink or dinner some night (do you live in the City?)  I’m over in the East Bay, but there are a host of places I want to go check out in S.F. if you are game.

Hope all is well,
B.

He wrote pretty much the perfect first email. Funny, casual, bringing up a shared memory (even if P. just told him about spilling the beer — which was hilarious — afterwards). Although I have to admit, I have no recollection of ever meeting him before that night. In my defense, we’ve played two gigs a month for the past five years. I meet a lot of people, and a lot of my bandmates’ friends. But still, I felt a little bad.

Tuesday, August 26
Subject: Good seeing you again

Hey, Rob!

Nice to hear from you! The spilling of the beer was classic. It was one of those things where time slowed down just enough for us to watch the entire pint of beer cascade over the stage, but not enough for any of us to have stopped it. When we broke down the mics at the end of the night, her mic was still damp from the beer. Gross.

I’d love to grab a drink or dinner some night. When/where were you thinking? This week’s a little busy for me, but next week is pretty open.

Take care,
Nicole

He suggested Canteen: “Have you been?” he asked. “Really cool little spot that used to be a diner and they’ve kept the feel. Dennis Leary is the chef and I think he used to work at Farallon.” A guy who knows chefs. Can’t go wrong there. That sounded perfect. Except…

Thursday, August 27
Subject: Good seeing you again

Hey there….I called Canteen and, just our luck, they are going to be closed all next week.

How about Local Kitchen and Winemart at 7PM on Tuesday? Another good spot that has a little bit of everything (including truffled french fries and a wood burning pizza oven)!

Perfect!