03.19.08

Best Breakup Songs: SF Chronicle’s Take

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , at 10:09 am by N

Peter Hartlaub of the SF Chronicle just tackled one of my favorite topics, best breakup songs. I like his criteria, especially his point that good breakup songs have to have a slightly psychotic element to them. The best breakup songs capture the extremes of emotion that you go through during that time — the desolation, the rage, etc. — in a realistic way. When your emotional state is threatening to secede from sanity, you need the small consolation that, no, you’re not the only one who’s ever felt that way. And if you don’t listen to country music — which I love precisely because it takes up permanent residence on the fringes of emotion — well, you need to find something to listen to.

I, like most of the commenters, disagree with his choices. Then again, we all process breakups differently, so of course we’ll be drawn to different music to get us through the heartbreak. Check out the discussion for more breakup song fodder.

Here are my two takes on the subject (In retrospect, the 2001 list was pretty lame, but hey, I was young):

03.01.08

The Chef Who Hit on My Two Roommates (at Once)

Posted in dating, douchebags, horror stories, my friends at 12:37 pm by N

My roommates, K. and B., had a dinner party on Oscar night, catered by a cook from a local restaurant. B. thought it was a little odd that, when she was talking to the cook to make arrangements, he started telling her about how he was working out a lot and trying to eat better. But hey, there are plenty of people in this world who think complete strangers are interested in the minutiae of their lives.

The cook showed up on Sunday and starts following her around as they’re setting up. He’s 29, cute, short enough to make a girl who’s 5′3″ think twice before wearing heels, and recently got out of a long-term relationship. It’s hard, he says, because he’s a relationship guy; he’s into commitment. He continues along these lines, chatting B. up.

That is, of course, until K. comes home. He’s still flirting with B. a bit, but he’s definitely flirting with K. Food is eaten, wine is drunk, phone numbers are exchanged, the kitchen is cleaned, and the cook leaves — without his cutting board. Hmmm.

B. texts him to let him know he can pick it up on Tuesday, when she’ll be home recovering from knee surgery. On Monday, she wakes up from general anethesia to her friend shoving her cell phone in her face. “What is this text you got?” the friend says. It’s from the cook: “I hope when I come to pick it up you’re wearing a negligee.”

WTF?

At the same time that he sent the text, he was on his way over to our house to pick up the aforementioned cutting board from K. They flirted, they kissed, he left, B. forwarded K. the text, and K. immediately called him on it.

His response? “Wait, I can explain,” he said. “I’m not like that. I mean, of course I wasn’t hitting on your roommate.”

(FYI, guys: negligee reference = hitting on someone)

And then, “Well, I’ll let you two fight over me.” Then, apparently in an attempt to prove that, for him, there’s an inversely proportionate relationship between perseverance and intelligence, he called K. up last night — at 11 p.m. on a Friday — to see what she was doing.

I’ve heard of things like that happening, but never to people that I knew. And definitely never to people that I lived with. In my house. So this guy inspired two new categories for this blog: douchebags and horror stories. Feel free to send me your stories.

Identity Theft in Online Dating

Posted in news, online dating, red flags tagged at 12:23 pm by N

It’s hard coming up with a profile. If selling ourselves was easy for single people, we probably wouldn’t be as single. But really, plagiarism?

The Mind Hacks blog has a good post on personality plagiarism on online dating sites, inspired by a recent WSJ article in which one victim of this identity theft (a guy who teaches an Internet dating class) actually had his photo stolen.

These items inspired a new category for 100 Emails, 20 Dates: red flags. People, if someone clearly stole someone else’s headline or description, you don’t want to date them. There’s always an excuse to be lazy: I was busy, I’m not creative, etc. But someone who actually wants to meet someone will put in the effort to come up with something original, even if it’s boring, rather than using the lazy “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery” excuse.